“We’re in two dogs.”
The Chief Barking Officer arrived in a pink hat and a suit he absolutely expensed. His entire presentation: WIF for the pair. DOGE for the long.
EST. 2026 · SOLANA FINANCIAL DISTRICT
GOOD BOYS.
SERIOUS
BUSINESS.
One dog wears a hat.
The other gets leverage.
WIF PAIRED.
DOGE CONVICTION.
DOGE CONVICTION.
FLOOR 05 / THE CONVICTION DESKWelcome to
Welcome to
the doghouse.
Where the ties are tight,
and the thesis is two dogs.
01—05 GOOD BOY HEADQUARTERSScroll to clock in
GOODBOY / WIF5× LONG DOGE · PLANNEDDIVERSIFIED ACROSS TWO DOGSVERY GOOD. VERY LEVERAGED.
THE ONLY ADDRESS THAT MATTERS
Check the collar.
A name can be copied. The contract is the identity.
SOLANA · $GOODBOYAnnouncement pending
Not announced yet
The official GOODBOY mint will appear here once confirmed.
01 / KNOW YOUR COLLEAGUESa very distinguished institution ↘
A hedge fund.
Minus the hedge.
Good Boy Capital is a meme trading desk run by a Shiba in a pink hat. The strategy meeting lasted six seconds.
WIF is the trading pair. DOGE is the conviction. Allocated trading fees are intended to back a 5× long DOGE position on Ember Curve. Two different dogs. One extremely confident committee.
The fund-manager story is a joke. GOODBOY is a meme token, not a fund share or a claim to a fixed leveraged return.
Explore Ember CurveGOOD BOY CAPITAL · PERSONNEL FILE
EMPLOYEE OF EVERY MONTH
Chief Barking Officer
EXPERIENCE: GOOD BOYCLEARANCE: 5×
THE TOKEN$GOODBOY1 billion · planned supply
THE PAIRWIFSpot quote token on Solana
THE CONVICTIONDOGE 5× LONGSeparate fee-funded strategy
THE CURRENT SHIFTPaper modeLive execution not enabled
02 / ACCOUNTS PAYABLE. TREATS RECEIVABLE.
Follow the fees.
Not the tail.
A 3% trading tax. Every part accounted for.
Here’s how the proposed curve settings split it.
GOOD BOY CAPITAL
TRADE TAX RECEIPT
TRADE TAX RECEIPT
$1,000.00
$100$10,000
Trading tax3%
TOTAL TAX$30.00
SPLIT BELOW · NOT A RETURN ESTIMATE32%
OF TOTAL TAX
$9.60To the good holders.
Holder rewards in WIF.
40% of the 80% creator share.
48%
OF TOTAL TAX
$14.40To the conviction desk.
Collateral for the 5× long DOGE strategy.
60% of the 80% creator share.
20%
OF TOTAL TAX
$6.00To Ember Curve.
The platform’s share.
40 / 60 is the creator-share split. Across the entire tax, that becomes 32 / 48 / 20. At $1,000 volume: $9.60 to holders, $14.40 to the strategy, and $6.00 to Ember.
WHEN THE STRATEGY HARVESTS A PROFIT
50%Holder rewards
30%GOODBOY buyback & burn
20%EMBER burn
Ember describes harvesting at +25% profit thresholds. This is a split of harvested profit, not of trading volume or a promised payout.
03 / INTERNAL MEMORANDUMCLASSIFICATION: VERY GOOD
Wall Street.
More walkies.
They asked for a diversified portfolio.
He brought another dog.
MEETING MINUTESWIF. DOGE.
Lunch?
Lunch?
Unanimously a good boy.
Compliance asked him to sit. Research asked for more data. He offered a paw. The meeting was adjourned for walkies.
The fees have a job.
The office is fictional. The proposed split is specific: holders receive their share in WIF, and the conviction allocation backs a separate DOGE strategy.
A NOTE FROM THE RISK DEPARTMENT
Good boys.
Real risks.
Conviction is currently in paper mode. The office animations tell the story; they do not show live trades, prices, positions, or returns.
STATUS CHECKED SEPTEMBER 13, 2026What happens before live trading?
Ember says positions are simulated at live prices and the real quote allocation is held until the venue goes live. Live execution is not enabled in the platform status checked for this site.
Can the DOGE position be liquidated?
Yes. A 5× position can lose its collateral on an adverse move. Ember illustrates roughly 19% against the position; the actual threshold depends on venue margin, funding and fees. Its stated design rebuilds from fresh fees after liquidation. Holder rewards and profits are not guaranteed.
Does holding GOODBOY mean holding WIF and DOGE?
No. GOODBOY is the token. WIF is its spot quote asset. The planned DOGE exposure is a separate perpetual funded by allocated fees. The “two dogs” line is satire, not a diversification guarantee.
What happens at graduation?
The proposed curve opens at $4,000 market cap and graduates at $35,000 to Meteora DAMM v2. Ember currently lists a 1% graduated-pool fee. The 3% tax calculator above describes the proposed pre-graduation curve.
Where can I verify the mechanics?
Read Ember’s fee documentation and its Conviction market status. Exact payouts, conversion of WIF into venue collateral, and execution depend on Ember’s implementation. This site is informational and uses no live market feed.